Girls only here

The surge

Filled with the Spirit, I feel a surge of peace.  I want to love the way He loves.  No need to prove a thing.  I am who I am by grace. 

The storm roars outside my window as The Honey Trees music pounds through these speakers.  I’m going to take charge of my life-live in faith.  I only have this life-no need to countlessly sit in regrets.  I’m beautiful.  I’m His.  And I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

And I will. 

All the legalistic Christians are ugly.  May their eyes turn to Christ, not themselves.  I love Him and He is beautiful.  I see through His eyes. 

I am in a time of unknown future.  Where will I be a year from now?…

Only God knows.  And, oh, am I glad He holds me under His wing.

He is the One I run to, no one else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=T61cDv4FNs8#!

Withering eyes

Grab me, Lord.  My heart is too weak to the tender world’s current.

I no longer want to feel that I have to prove everything to this empty world.  My overflowing cup has a crack.

Magical yesterdays

Yesterday I visited the special place where yesterday lives.  My beautiful best friend of 7 plus years, Erica, helped me remember what time has lost.  I don’t get to see her very often-she goes to college in a different state.  But when I spend a day with her, I remember myself.  The old simple times, the pure joy of friendship.  My friend Erica is a beautiful soul who loves the Lord with all she has. 

I had slept over her house and when she was asleep I was reading some books she had created when she was really young.  It made me tear up.  To see the innocent little girl turn into such a devoted child of God made me humbled that she is my best friend and sissy.  Yesterday was drizzled with magical yesterdays and I’ll never give that up. 

I was sitting in the house she grew up in-the house I’ve spent such time in.  For a moment I just took everything in and stood still.  This will all be gone some day.  I love my friend Erica.  My best friend and sissy.  It was moments like yesterday that will last forever. 

I would have never started reading my Bible if it wasn’t for Erica.  I would have never loved the Lord like I do if it wasn’t for her.  My beautiful friend who has made me into the person I am today.  I love her with all that I am.

I can’t even picture my life without her or who I would be today if she had not stepped into my life.  But that’s the beauty of life-I don’t have to.  She is in my heart now and forevermore.  I will spend eternity with her and my Saviour, skipping down those streets of gold.

Thank you, Erica.  I love you more than you’ll ever know.  I’ve forgotten what it’s like to spend simple times with extraordinary people.

Why you’re my friend, I’ll never know.  But, thank you, Jesus.  Thank you for a friend who changed my life forever.

I don’t want these moments to change.  I don’t want it all to leave.

The familiar strangers

Time swirls in the commotion of my head. My past, was it all a dream? What once seemed so bad seems so perfectly beautiful now. I’m not saying that I have a horrible life now and used to have a wonderful one. I am beyond blessed and this life is a pure gift from my Lord and Saviour. I am thankful. Truly, I am. I love my beautiful life. I just miss what I can no longer grasp….

The random people I used to see every single day. We might not have ever even talked. I just miss the familiarity and the unspoken language as we passed each other in the high school hallways and sat next to each other in classes. Some I had seen five days a week since I was nine years old. We may not have been friends. But we were on the same path together and I miss the people I never even talked with. In the silence we all had a connection. And now I’ll never be able to see that familiar stranger again.

I think about them a lot-the familiar strangers.

Then I think about myself. Who am I? A child of God. Yes, I love my Lord and know that I’m defined by Him. But, if I were to be really honest with myself, do I really know who I am? I know who I used to be. And sometimes I’m so grateful I’m no longer that person by the grace of my beautifully majestic God. Then, other times, I long to grasp that girl who seems to vanish into a mist of yesterdays.

Most people know I’m an open book. And it’s only around confident people that I’m shy. I’ve been attempting for God to be my soul focus, not the approval of men. That’s my biggest downfall. I don’t want to care what people think of me. I’m already a princess to my Dearest Daddy!

And then I get over my pity party. Yesterday I went out to eat with my friend. We ran into a girl that my friend knew from high school. She put life into perspective. Both of her parents died this year. At different times. Both by horrible causes. Who am I to complain? And let me tell ya, the Holy Spirit was a movin’ in that place!! Oh, the touch of Christ. Please pray for this girl. She is crying out for help. The Lord told us that we needed to tell this girl she is being prayed for. Please, pray for the mighty wind of Christ to stir her restless soul. Right now she believes in reincarnation. May she be filled with the peace of our one true God.

And still, I think of the familiar strangers that somehow shaped me into who I am today.

And one day, we will all understand…

Debris

I want God.  More than anything.  His endless touch, the enduring peace.  I want to love Him more.

My doubts swirl like debris below my feet.  Why would I want to kneel when I see the mess below me?  I no longer want those thoughts in the forfront of my mind.  I want to be cleansed.  I yearn to love.

This is my second attempt at this entry.  The first was much longer.  But for some odd reason Tumblr malfunctioned.   

Lead oh Father, that I may feel grace like an avalanche.  Whisper to me.  I want to follow your love.

Release me from debris.  May praise become the enduring language of my heart.

I want Jesus.  I want God.  Speak to me on this path.  Please, Dear God, simply hear me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o43kJjmXh8&feature=fvwrel

I love my Jesus.  I am the only current pulling myself from reaching His completeness.

Days are where we live

Sara, you’re so beautiful.  Thank you for the encouraging post.  “Bye bye Satan.  Toodaloo.  You can’t own me.  Christ does.”

That was perfect.  Because our Jesus is. 

Today I was singing in church and I saw an older couple singing “So I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all.”  They had their arms around each other and their arms raised, praising Jesus.  Stunningly beautiful.  I want that.  I want my Jesus.

Humble confidence in Christ.  I speak for both of us when I say I think that’s all we want our aim to be.

Well, Sara dear, I could write for hours.  It is therapeutic.  I’m going to write a book one day. 

Aaaaaaall the other kids with the pumped up kicks.  Sorry.  I’m listening to that song. 

I know who I want to be now.  I can feel its surge rise. 

I want to be free.  The taste of perfection.  But just a taste.  The rest will come later-in the Kingdom awaiting my heart.  I want to be owned by freedom.  The taste of Christ in the forefront of my mind.  The Word pumping the air I breathe.  My soul is in dire need of the knowledge of His Word.  This is my new milestone in the divine relationship with Jesus. 

I’ve come to the recognition that I’m selfish, prideful, ugly.  I mean, just look at all my posts on this thing.  How many times is its focus on me?  My mom, dad, brother, friends, and family need the touch of redemption.  Am I allowing Jesus to use me in that touch?  No.  No I’m not.  There are no excuses.  Just my fear and pride.  Oh, how I pray I would be purged of my pride and foolishness. 

Somehow my need for Christ rises peace.  Let the peace rise.

I love you, Sarita.  I will be with you in a week!  I can’t wait. 

Aaaaaaalllllllll the other kids with the pumped up kicks better run. 

I don’t want to be perfect.  If I was, I wouldn’t need Jesus.  And oh, how I want Him more than anything or anyone. 

“What are days for? Days are where we live. They come, they wake us time and time over. They are to be happy in: where can we live but days? Ah, solving that question brings the priest and the doctor in their long coats running over the fields.”

I’m in perfect need of Jesus.  I want to forever draw closer to Him, never losing this perfect need.
 

And I’m still full of pride.  Purge it out of me, Christ Jesus.